Public displays of affection between Tim Walz and his son have been criticised as "weird". But critics could learn much from Walz's version of masculinity.
Public displays of affection between Tim Walz and his son have been criticised as “weird”. But critics could learn much from Walz’s version of masculinity.
Gus Walz, the 17-year-old son of Minnesota Governor and Democratic nominee for Vice President Tim Walz, stole the show at the Democratic National Convention last month. As his father was speaking, Gus gave him a standing ovation. With tears streaming down his face, he placed his hand over his heart and yelled, “that’s my dad.”
Tim Walz had been talking about the fertility treatments he and his wife, Gwen, received to conceive his daughter Hope. “Hope, Gus and Gwen,” Governor Walz said to his family, “you are my entire world, and I love you.”
The response from the conservative side of the aisle was to ridicule this neurodivergent teenager, who lives with a nonverbal learning disorder and other challenges.
The critics’ focus was on Gus’s violation of the masculine norm of suppressing emotions.
Right-wing author and provocateur Ann Coulter wrote on X, “Talk about weird …,” in an apparent attempt to defuse the label “weird” that Tim Walz has affixed to the Trump-Vance ticket. Another offered Gus a “tampon,” in reference to Governor Walz’s initiative to provide feminine hygiene products in Minnesota public schools. Yet another Trumpian activist called Gus a “puffy beta male.”
What makes Gus Walz’s public display of emotion and love so noteworthy is that it happened at a time when young men are being exposed to a culture awash in exaggerated versions of masculinity.
In this so-called manosphere, where concepts like “incels” (heterosexual men who blame women and society for their lack of romantic success) and “tradwives” (short for traditional wife — one who prefers to take a traditional role in marriage, including the belief that a woman’s place is in the home), are commonly bandied about, many are under the spell of “influencers” such as Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson.
Father-son relationships
From the perspective of psychologists who practice and conduct research in the area of men and masculinities, we hail Tim and Gus, for modelling a healthy father-son relationship, and a way of being male in our society that doesn’t require the suppression of tender emotions.
The masculine socialisation process hailed by those on the right pressures boys to avoid anything that girls do, so they want boys to observe girls closely and act differently.
But boys such as Gus Walz flaunt these destructive rules in favour of expressing their authentic selves.
Girls are freer to be emotionally self-aware and expressive, so those on the right want boys to restrict their expression of emotions, especially vulnerable emotions such as fear and sadness, as well as those that reflect a sense of being attached to another person, like fondness and caring.
Girls are much more likely to learn how to empathise with other people, to see and feel things from others’ perspectives — so those on the right want boys to avoid all that.
Girls also learn how to feel compassion for another person who is suffering, and do what they can to help that person. They learn to discuss differences and resolve conflicts through conversation, and to deepen relationships and experience greater intimacy by revealing their own vulnerabilities — things that those on the right want boys to avoid.
As a result, those on the right want boys to approach the game of life without a full array of coping resources.
It gets worse. Because those on the right want boys to display aggression, dominance, hypersexuality, and a tendency to “other-ise” girls, as well as those with non-heterosexual orientations, less conventional gender identities, and racial and ethnic minoritised groups.
Thus, the version of masculinity that the right espouses fosters being aggressive, disrespectful, and even violent, compared with the Walz version of caring and giving.
Politics, and wider society, could benefit if we were to change the narrative and follow the Walz version of masculinity.
Dr Ronald Levant is a former president of the American Psychological Association and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron. His memoir has recently been published: Levant, R.F., with Bowman, A. (2024). The Problem with Men: Insights on Overcoming a Traumatic Childhood from a World-Renowned Psychologist | Koehler Books Publishing
Dr Christopher Kilmartin is an author, trainer, and activist in preventing violence in schools, the military, and the workplace internationally. He is professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Mary Washington. His latest book is The Fictions that Shape Men’s Lives.
Originally published under Creative Commons by 360info™.
Editors Note: In the story “US election” sent at: 18/09/2024 16:34.
This is a corrected repeat.